It’s time to upgrade your depressive pasta with tomato purée to the next level.

- Bring some water to boil and when it does, add the pasta to it. Spaghetti, fusilli, penne, tagliatelle… I don’t fucking care, but make it wholewheat so your sexy body can absorb all its vitamins and nutrients.
- Boil it for the time written in the package and stir occasionally. There’s no one-time-fits-all when cooking pasta but when in doubt taste it frequently until you like the texture. Once it’s done, rinse it.
- Meanwhile peel and grate some tomatoes (or grab some tomato passata), dice an onion and a clove of garlic if you don’t have to kiss anyone later. In a hot pan with a thin layer of oil, turn the heat down and add the onion and a pinch of salt.
- Let it cook for 5 to 10 minutes but DON’T FUCKING BURN IT!! Add a splash of water if the onion is getting dark too quickly.
- Add the garlic, the tomatoes and if you want a softer sauce add a bit of milk to it. Let it cook for 2 – 5 minutes more.
- Add mince meat and cook it until it becomes brown.
- Mix the pasta with the sauce, add salt to taste, oregano and grated parmesan if you feel like it.
FUCKING TIP #1: Adding a splash of olive oil to the boiling water or to the pasta when it’s rinsed will prevent pasta from sticking to each other.
FUCKING TIP #2: If you have enough time and patience, use this recipe as the base for your bolognese and you’ll get a tongue orgasm once you taste it.
Chef
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