Salad dressings

There’s nothing as boring as a salad without any dressing. And don’t even bother to say that you like it plain you fucking rabbit!

Here you’ll find a selection of delicious and fucking easy salad dressings.

The basics (oil and vinegar)

1. Grab a good oil (extra virgin olive oil, avocado oil, rice oil, whateveryoulike oil) and your favourite vinegar: malt, modena, balsamic, apple, wine, etc. but if you have guests ASK before adding it, not everyone likes that smelly vinegar you buy.
2. Add them gently to the salad, DON’T drown it. You can add a pinch of salt as well.

Honey vinaigrette

1. Choose any oil you want, the less flavour the better, and pour some in a small glass.
2. Add the same amount of balsamic vinegar to the glass.
3. Then add a pinch of salt, a tablespoon of honey and mix it well.

Caesar

1. Chop and mash to a paste a clove of garlic and some anchovy fillets -6 is ok, or use anchovy paste and you’ll save yourself 5 seconds of chopping.
2. Add some lemon juice, Dijon mustard and, if you like a bit of extra flavour, Worcestershire sauce. Whisk it all together.
3. Then add a couple of egg yolks and olive oil OR some mayonnaise. It doesn’t fucking matter, that’s for the texture mainly, not the flavour.
4. Finally add in some Parmigiano-Reggiano -that’s parmesan cheese CAZZO!– salt and pepper.

Tahini dressing

1. Make your own tahini or buy some or steal some, I don’t care. But the better the tahini, the better the dressing.
2. Combine it with more or less the same amount of olive oil and lemon juice.
3. Add a bit of mustard, a bit of honey/maple syrup/agave syrup and a pinch of salt and pepper.
4. Mix everything until your arm hurts and there you go. If you want to make it cheaper or prefer a thinner texture (yeah… who cares about the texture, right? #stingycook), add a bit of water and mix it again.